Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Same Hell, Different Day

No, that's not me being down or pessimistic.  That's a statement about hearing lots of people over the New Year weekend mention how awful 2009 was.  In general, yeah.  It was a high stress year.  A lot happened in the world and closer to home.  In our family, there were challenges in the child-rearing, house-selling, house-buying arenas, coupled with various health issues and scares.  Couples splintered apart.  One close friend was diagnosed with (and apparently beat) lung cancer.  My grandmother was in and out of the hospital.  It was kinda rough.

But here's some perspective:
  • The planet is still rotating, and revolving around the sun.
  • Climate change hasn't killed us off yet.
  • I got married (W00t!)

Honestly, there will always be dark clouds and silver linings to any year.  If I look at my own 2005-2009, I can see rough years of Biblical proportion: death of wife, death of father, flood, fire, locusts... Actually, there weren't locusts.  But we joked about it, because at the time if I didn't laugh, I would have curled into the fetal position and sobbed my ass off.  Come to think of it, I did that anyway.  Just not in public.  But in the midst of that maelstrom of awfulness there were deep friendships formed, the discovery of strength I didn't know I had, and an outpouring of love and support from my community.  I released an award-winning short film and made lots of valuable contacts in the film arena.  I also released a tribute CD for Samantha, which directly put Raechelle in my path.  Now THAT eats my mind every time I think about it.

The point being, it's fine and dandy to say, "2009 sucked - 2010 will be better!"  Heck, it may be true for you.  But there are always ups and downs to any 365-day period, and an arbitrary date on a calendar isn't going to make that any different.  2010, for me, holds the promise of progress on the film front, of creative collaboration with my wife, and of finally releasing the long-delayed second edition of Deep7's first premium fantasy RPG, Arrowflight.  All good things.

And while all of this is happening, an old friend of mine is dying of cancer.  Shura is one of my oldest friends in the area, as Sam & I lived with her and her then-boyfriend Garth when we first moved to Seattle in 1991.  I recently got reconnected with Garth, who got me reconnected with Shura just in time to find out not only had she battled breast cancer for years, but that it had metastasized to her bones and liver.  And she's now quite literally on her deathbed.  Seeing pictures of her taken within the last 48 hours was a huge flashback for me, and I beat my tiny fists against the massive chest of cancer once more, railing impotently from the mountaintop of Facebook.  Time may mute the immediate pain, but watching a loved one die far too young from cancer never becomes more okay.  Godspeed, Shura.  Much love.

On top of that, Raechelle's mom had a heart attack over last weekend, and was hospitalized with stents in her arteries.  I know she doesn't like it when people make a fuss, but we were preparing for some very hard news.  Thank goodness that doesn't appear to be the case! 

So my New Year kicks off with the impending death of an old friend and a health scare for my mother-in-law, and yet -- what a great gift to be reminded of life's finite nature, to be given renewed impetus to fulfill my own potential and not waste a single moment.

To that end, the woman and I are getting back in shape, and I've made appointments with a new head doc (to keep the emotional gears and cogs moving smoothly) as well as my meat doc (for that "You're over 40 - bend over!" physical). And as soon as we receive the report from UW, we'll be getting Tyler's situation sorted out as well.

And with that, here we go...


Anonymous said...

Mighty fine post. Shows what great character you have, and I'm not being facetious (sp?). It's kind of uncanny how you and Raechelle blend so well. T'was meant to be. That kind of blending will get both of you through anything! Love You All. MM

antiem said...

I must say ditto! A mighty fine post. And a mighty fine perspective. Wishing you the best in 2010. (And so glad you sidestepped that finger!)