Thursday, June 12, 2008

Meet the Parents

Feeling a bit better today. Slept in fits and starts (1 to 2-hour segments), punctuated by productive coughing jags. I have some voice back, although it's still in the sexy frog realm. Nevertheless, I was not going to skip lunch with Raechelle and my mom & stepdad today.

Swung by Raechelle's work to pick her up and drove over to Siam, where we met the folks. Everyone got along famously, and I think she passed whatever set of subconscious criteria the parents may have lurking about. The most major one being, "does she make our boy happy?" The answer of course being, "hell yeah."

Last night, as you may have inferred from the previous post, I bowed out of the Behind Closed Doors screening at STIFF. Raechelle still came over, and we watched She's Having a Baby while cuddling on the big sofa while Kayleigh watched the movie from the loveseat. Afterward, I showed Sam's memorial DVD, as kind of a way to get Raechelle caught up on the past 20+ years of my life. She absorbed it all in a good natured curiosity, no sense of competition or sadness. I love the fact that there is no sense of trying to fill Sam's shoes (on her side OR mine) - that Raechelle is a whole person, separate and distinct. That whatever happens from here on out is new.

I like that a lot. It just feels healthy.

Followed that up by giving Raechelle the Reader's Digest version of Brotherhood of Justice, which was shot in my old hometown of Aptos, CA. Young Keanu Reeves, Kiefer Sutherland, Billy Zane and Lori Loughlin. Much of the film takes place at Aptos High School, where I spent my freshman and sophomore years before moving to Palo Alto.

I will just mention briefly in passing that while playing catch with Wiley last night, my lovely daughter accidentally racked me in the groin. With some kinds of impacts, it can usually be walked off. But this was just the right amount, in exactly the right spot. A surgical (if accidental) strike. In conjunction with the heavy coughing last night, I'm just a little sore and swollen today. Good thing I'm not coughing as much. Gah.

You may note I've added a few new links to the blogroll at right. Among the new additions is the blog of my good friend Mike Cressy, illustrator extraordinare. Usually his blog serves as a pimp factory for his art, but today he's added some pics of his late girlfriend, Holly, who committed suicide last year. Today would have been her birthday.

I often wonder how the SOs of people who die feel about the situation. I mean, the experience of losing a partner is dire, no matter what the couple's legal status. And yet, I think society places less of a premium on the grief of a surviving partner who wasn't married to the one lost. It's a shame. Mike and I have talked about his experience. Survivor's guilt in the case of a suicide can be debilitating, and Mike's situation is no different. Fortunately he's had enough counseling to know there was nothing he could have done differently.

I don't want to over-analyze Mike's situation on my blog, but I did want to make mention of it. And wish a posthumous happy birthday to Holly. Cheers, Mike. You have my number if you need to talk.

Looking forward to another weekend full of friends, family and Raechelle. Last night she presented me with a mix CD ('cause we're old skool like that) called "Songs for my Man". I like being her man. It's a good thing to be. She wants to take us out for lunch on Father's Day (Sunday) and I think we'll pack everyone down to the new Incredible Hulk movie. Seems like a good Father's Day event for a film geek and his family.

I'm sure I'll be blogging all weekend, but if not, Happy Father's Day to all the stand-up dudes out there who have raised kids - whether they are genetically yours or not. You make the world that much better.


TigereyeSal said...

Good post today, Todd- moving, uplifting, humbling.

My Willis died from bi-polar disorder, in a not-quite-suicide, and I've been thinking about him lots lately. Hugs go out from me to Mike, and Holly.

My Rob is always very calm about integrating the Willis stuff into our new life together- he feels no competition, and gets the bittersweetness that is the beauty of new love from the ashes of the old love.

Last father's day, Willis, in his cardboard box of ashes, sat at the head of the table beside Rob's plate, as they were both presented with Father's Day gifts. It was a moment for the heart, more than the head, and all the kids seemed just fine with it. Not sure whether I'll be able to find that same cardboard box of ashes in time for Father's day this year....


Bug said...

OK, now that I am back in the living - after my horrendous wisdom teeth recovery, I want you to know I *have* been reading. With smiles, with laughter, with absolute GLEE over your happiness. It's cliche, I know, but NO ONE deserves it more!

You sound happy and healthy and all-around GREAT! Congrats and welcome to the couple world.

:) Lynnae

Conor said...

Goddamn dude your heart is really showing in these posts :)

its really refreshing and fun to read and it puts a smile on my face to know someone is truly happy in life. Its a beautiful thing man!