Mrs. Downing's faithful readers know by now that she was in a five-car pileup on her way to work a couple weeks ago, and that as of yesterday, her dear Elantra hatchback, Ruby, was totaled.
I know firsthand what it's like to lose a beloved vehicle, and I know I'd be a pouty boy if Sportacus was ever totaled. But it's hard to give comfort during the transition. I have to remember that there's no quick fix, and you have to let the grieving own their grief.
The reminder actually came to me as I was surfing for cars on the laptop last night. Hyundai doesn't make an Elantra hatchback anymore, and Mrs. D. doesn't want a used car to replace Ruby. So in poking around through equivalent cars, I brought up some Hondas and Kias, but the look on her face said, "nice try, but just let me be sad right now." I didn't want to seem like I was trying to influence her decision in any way (only window shopping for my own edification), so I put the laptop away and let her be sad.
Sometimes it's okay to let your loved one be sad. Sometimes it's okay just to be quiet and hold them.