Thursday, August 7, 2008

Why Being an Artist Sucks

Reason #2,457 (you know, after all the ones about not being able to make a living and the public perception of not having a "real" vocation): The Muse.

That bitch. After a great OA series development session with Dan & Trish, I felt like a Whedonesque writing god. The Muse was whispering ideas in my ear and massaging an ego which had been somewhat battered recently. I should have seen it coming - the insomnia that comes with any great artistic stride.

At 2:30AM I finally calmed down enough to let myself fall asleep.

This is a perfect example of what the artistic temperament is like. It's really a case of mild bipolar disorder. The waves of high energy and achievement I surf like a Hawaiian tiki god on a longboard, full of confidence and hubris and a sense of "anything is possible". Then the low energy period when I go quiet and internal - the angst that fuels the need to paddle back out into the surf.

Meh. It's not so bad. I've surfed these waves of creativity all my life, as long as I can remember (and I can go back to 2 years old). At least I'm not hacking off my own body parts and sending them to my girlfriend, unlike SOME people.

Speaking of girlfriends, reason #346 why I love mine:

As I've mentioned previously, there's a person from the painful part of Raechelle's past (which she has alluded to in general terms on her own blog) who continues to monitor both her blog and mine. It's not like he's stalking her physically - he's just quietly lurking, the virtual equivalent of the creepy guy in the bushes peering in the window (whereas the majority of our readers are more like invited houseguests).

Maybe it was the shared wine or the creative high I was on from the production meeting, but for some reason when I logged onto Sitemeter and saw his IP and the referral from Rae's blog, I let myself get pissed. I know I shouldn't - that's a really ugly, jealous aspect of my psyche I'd just as soon keep locked away. But that stuff triggers my alpha male protection instinct, as I don't like the thought of anyone hurting my woman like he did.

So I called her, and she talked me down. We agreed that any energy directed at this guy would be better used in loving each other and creating a wonderful future together. Our best revenge is in our own happiness. And some people are just not worth the bother.

And speaking of happiness, we have seven (count 'em) SEVEN houses to tour tonight. I've had at least a little time with my girl every day this week, and it's been fantastic. And this weekend is slated to be chock full of activity. Starting next weekend, we're in Cali.

* * *

Wow. I just heard a guy on the building construction kitty corner to us get injured. We get all sorts of entertainment out here. Hope he's okay. He's sure vocal about it, which is probably a good sign.

1 comment:

Mark Bruno said...

Lydia had an ex that WOULDN'T GO AWAY, either, when we first started dating. Thankfully, he only pestered her for an evening by way of repeated phone calls bordering on the manical, but it, too, triggered an alpha male instinct. At any rate, look at this way, she's with now, in much better place, and you both DESERVE each other.