Same Hell, Different Day

No, that's not me being down or pessimistic.  That's a statement about hearing lots of people over the New Year weekend mention how awful 2009 was.  In general, yeah.  It was a high stress year.  A lot happened in the world and closer to home.  In our family, there were challenges in the child-rearing, house-selling, house-buying arenas, coupled with various health issues and scares.  Couples splintered apart.  One close friend was diagnosed with (and apparently beat) lung cancer.  My grandmother was in and out of the hospital.  It was kinda rough.

But here's some perspective:

• The planet is still rotating, and revolving around the sun.
• Climate change hasn't killed us off yet.
• I got married (W00t!)

Honestly, there will always be dark clouds and silver linings to any year.  If I look at my own 2005-2009, I can see rough years of Biblical proportion: death of wife, death of father, flood, fire, locusts... Actually, there weren't locusts.  But we joked about it, because at the time if I didn't laugh, I would have curled into the fetal position and sobbed my ass off.  Come to think of it, I did that anyway.  Just not in public.  But in the midst of that maelstrom of awfulness there were deep friendships formed, the discovery of strength I didn't know I had, and an outpouring of love and support from my community.  I released an award-winning short film and made lots of valuable contacts in the film arena.  I also released a tribute CD for Samantha, which directly put Raechelle in my path.  Now THAT eats my mind every time I think about it.

The point being, it's fine and dandy to say, "2009 sucked - 2010 will be better!"  Heck, it may be true for you.  But there are always ups and downs to any 365-day period, and an arbitrary date on a calendar isn't going to make that any different.  2010, for me, holds the promise of progress on the film front, of creative collaboration with my wife, and of finally releasing the long-delayed second edition of Deep7's first premium fantasy RPG, Arrowflight.  All good things.

And while all of this is happening, an old friend of mine is dying of cancer.  Shura is one of my oldest friends in the area, as Sam & I lived with her and her then-boyfriend Garth when we first moved to Seattle in 1991.  I recently got reconnected with Garth, who got me reconnected with Shura just in time to find out not only had she battled breast cancer for years, but that it had metastasized to her bones and liver.  And she's now quite literally on her deathbed.  Seeing pictures of her taken within the last 48 hours was a huge flashback for me, and I beat my tiny fists against the massive chest of cancer once more, railing impotently from the mountaintop of Facebook.  Time may mute the immediate pain, but watching a loved one die far too young from cancer never becomes more okay.  Godspeed, Shura.  Much love.

On top of that, Raechelle's mom had a heart attack over last weekend, and was hospitalized with stents in her arteries.  I know she doesn't like it when people make a fuss, but we were preparing for some very hard news.  Thank goodness that doesn't appear to be the case! 

So my New Year kicks off with the impending death of an old friend and a health scare for my mother-in-law, and yet -- what a great gift to be reminded of life's finite nature, to be given renewed impetus to fulfill my own potential and not waste a single moment.

To that end, the woman and I are getting back in shape, and I've made appointments with a new head doc (to keep the emotional gears and cogs moving smoothly) as well as my meat doc (for that "You're over 40 - bend over!" physical). And as soon as we receive the report from UW, we'll be getting Tyler's situation sorted out as well.

And with that, here we go...

Last Post of 2009

Apologies for the lack of enthusiastic posts in recent weeks.  It's been a sort of crappy end to a year of extremes - the highs of a new marriage to the letting go of the only home two kids had ever known.  The buying and selling of homes in a down market, the challenges of promoting artistic projects in a slow economy, the hand-wringing and hair-pulling of raising a couple of highly-intelligent and often challenging teens, and integrating a new maternal influence into their lives.

It's all been a lot to absorb, much less report on with any sort of regularity.

Safe to say, things are settling down on the home front, just in time for things to get busy on the career front.  There is movement on the horizon, and I look forward to writing about it next year.

So, until tomorrow...

Happy Gregorian New Year!

Here I Go

Welcome to 2009.

I awoke to a medical update on my grandmother, who is in the hospital for the second time since just before Christmas. Doctors thought they found the problem. Turns out they hadn't. Now she's looking at possible abdominal surgery.

This on top of dealing with more losses. A friend of the family, the husband of one of my mother's close friends, died yesterday morning - cancer claims another good one. And then just before I was supposed to take Kayleigh to her friend's house for New Year's Eve, she discovered the guinea pig James Brown dead in his cage. He was on his back, and there was a lot of blood around his mouth, paws and rectal area. Looked like a massive hemorrhage. He was five and a half years old, ancient for a guinea pig who had survived the St. Valentine's Day Fire of '06 and a broken pelvis. We buried him in the back yard next to the locust tree, where several other pets (over the course of the 14 years we've lived here) have been buried. We told stories and laughed and cried.

James was also the last pet link to Samantha. So that's kind of weighty for me right now. And no fiancee around for a hug.

Raechelle loaned Ruby to Heather while she's visiting Seattle, and she'll be dropping the car back today. We had a lovely coffee chat the other day - very nice to talk face-to-face after all of the virtual interactions.

After coffee with Heather, I had lunch with Steve Hartley at The Swell. We hadn't seen each other in over a month. Then Kayleigh went to a birthday party, then we went directly to a production meeting at Dan & Trish's for the Fred Hutch PSA. It was a non-stop day and I was exhausted.

I spent NYE with Dan & Trish, and for awhile we were joined by Amy and her date, Ricky. Played Apples to Apples. Got several texts and a couple drunk dials from friends. Raechelle & I had to make do with a sort of half-drunk phone call at her midnight, which was only 9PM my time. Started feeling a bit third-wheel-ish after our midnight, so I left my friends and headed home to bed.

I have some friends coming over tonight and Gavin & Michelle arriving to begin their stay. I fly out to WV in the early morning.

Depending on connectivity, I may not post again until after January 8th.