45

You know, I'm really happy with where I am.  Not just geographically, but in life.  I'm especially happy with the woman I chose to spend the rest of it with, and who chose me right back.  But some days require remembrances, and this is one of them.  And the aforementioned woman to whom I'm married is incredibly supportive of the need to remember.  She knows it's not about her, or any kind of comparison.  It's about family, and history, and respect.  And I love her for that.

Samantha would have turned 45 today.  I was in a very different place when I marked her 40th.  I was far angrier.  At an unfair Universe.  At the cancer that claimed her life.  At myself for surviving.  But here, five years later, I'm much more at peace.  I no longer write first-person letters to her.  I rarely feel her presence anymore.  I don't think it will ever seem fair, and I will never forget over twenty years with my high school sweetheart - which includes two children who are almost adults themselves.  It's important to mark these days, and to remember.  If only to contrast the present with the past.  It's all about perspective.

Happy Birthday, Sam.